I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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