no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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