Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
