Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
