p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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