if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
