i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Randomize
