small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
