I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
