I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
