I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
He had one of those small greek statue penises
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
