Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
