Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
