I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
