you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I showed him my bush... on skype.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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