just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize