she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
