he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
