just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize