what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
