does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
