i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
