Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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