You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
