Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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