I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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