its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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