Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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