He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
