I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
