I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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