That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm at about main and main street
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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