Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
