New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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