you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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