how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
