Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
We have started to decorate penises.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
