You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
