how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
