Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
