And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Randomize
