"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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