Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
It's never too late to be topless.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
