you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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