In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
