it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
