My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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