We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize