Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Randomize
