ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
