I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
false alarm. still invincible.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
