so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
My vagina is very pro this idea
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
