We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
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