I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
