AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
