You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
