some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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