so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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