she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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