There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She even gives head with a lisp.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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