pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
