Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
